An Actress's Take on All-Things-Screen

Heartbreak

Boy meets girl. Boy and girl become best friends instantly. Boy falls in love with girl. Girl falls in love with boy. They become partners in crime for 4 years. They have ups. They have downs. They grow up together. They are family. Girl struggles with job. Job gets girl down. Girl isolates herself because it’s the best way she knows how to deal with things. Girl breaks up with boy. Boy’s heart is broken. Girl thinks she’s fine. Boy is not. Girl’s heart is broken too. Girl realises she isn’t fine. Boy starts to feel more human. Girl and boy reconnect. Girl waits to gather herself to ask for boy back. Boy meets someone. Girl is too late.

The age old story.

Heartbreak. In a box.

I saw my ex-boyfriend last night and it hit me like a steam train. One of my friends remarked that I was ‘handling it really well’. I wasn’t. I was like a duck. Furiously trying to cope underneath. And then I went home and cried myself to sleep. Meanwhile he went home to his new girlfriend.

*Self indulgent article warning*

It’s truly difficult, heartbreak. I would rather someone punched me in the face than continue to harbour this kind of pain. At least you know the ending might be in sight when it’s physical. It’s been about 14 months since we broke up and I’m still living a roller coaster ride. And I will probably continue to do so because we have a strong mutual friend and he will always be in my life in some shape or form.

I thought about 500 Days of Summer. Maybe I’m Summer in this story. I come from a divorced family and it has always skewed my perspective on relationships. But I’ve grown up a lot since then. I want different things now. My ex has always been a Tom-type character; lovely, funny and one of the best people you’ll meet. But he’s also Summer here. He’s the one who found someone else.

Or maybe it’s like No Strings Attached (an old favourite film of ours). Except when I phone him up in the wedding scene – it’s a no to taking me back.

It’s a horrible thing.

Once again I will turn to films to get me through. It’s all I have right now! That and friends. And family. Thank God for them.

Who knows what will happen in the future. I still hope and pray we get back together but I have to get on with moving forward in the meantime. Life’s short. Hold onto those who you love. I had to learn the hard way about what’s important in life and in relationships.

I miss my best friend and the better half of me.

That’s the sad part over now (at least on my blog) – you can breathe a sigh of relief!

Happy Tuesday x

@screensterblog

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